Who says I am afraid?

OK. To say that I am not, ever, would of course be dishonest.

To say that I am ever without some abiding fear, however hidden, would be ignorance at best, if not dishonest. At some level, when compelled to reflect on pain I have caused myself and someone else (imposing that we are ultimately one, and therefore, even my suffering implies the suffering of others), my fear becomes a separate "I" lurking in the shadow of shame.

But this is the human condition, yes? I might no more dismiss my humanity than I might claim riddance of fear. Let me strive for a more constructive response and ask the question in this way: "What would I do if I had no faith?"

To this I would surely respond as follows:

I would rely solely on my senses, my gut instincts and my reason. My alignment with emotional response would develop only to play on the sentiments of others, that they might seek my approval and in exchange, give me something I want. Or I might prey on their fear and convince them I have the power to harm or protect and so they should give me what I want.

Without faith, I would have every reason to expect that only my own power, and not some greater power than any man might possess would rule my fate.

I would exaggerate my needs and see only the greed of others: such greed drives excess which insures that I will always have enough just as the greed of others threatens to deprive me. I would exaggerate my right to pleasure, and transform lust into just due or much deserved fun. I would feel cheated by the good fortune of others, and transform envy into scorn and callous disregard and snipe the character of others as disingenuous and assuage their strength as dumb luck only. I would lie to fools and make excuses for my sloth. I would steal, not as thief, but rather as a guardian. Even I might pray, if not to fool a God that I fear might actually exist, than to be overheard by those who might fear God enough to bless me.

Without faith, I might build a Church and herald a congregation and import such facts from fiction that chaos resonates with the voices of angels so as to be sung from and heard in throngs of fearful hearts and self-conscious heads. Yea, to offer the meek the only hope they can grasp - the thunderous sound of an angry God and the safer silence in surrender. I would enjoin them to save themselves by saving others - to barter faith, for favor. I would build Country Clubs of Worship and gather to me the armor of true conceit woven out of what they would part with last, part with only after their dying breath - their suffering.

But that is only the religious ploy.

Without faith, I could build armies. I could ignore the vote of nations of the world and drop  democracy from an F-16. Without faith, I could enslave the impoverished, scorn the weak, decorate the crippled, and perhaps even put the children to work; by them, and through them especially, I might plunder the villages of those who would oppose me.

Lastly, in a very advanced age, an age of great mechanical power and mesmerizing lights and all too many alternate realities built on the shards of fear's own design; when the a priori anticipation defines want and obfuscates need; when to want is the mantra and its object is by definition something that is not yet had; then I will, without faith, create want at will and dangle it in front of the fearful like hot iron and they will wear my brand.

You get it. Right? Without faith, I would fear completely, and I would fear most of the all the ever lurking truth: that my fear of what might happen is merely faith without redemption.

What would I do if I was not afraid? I would tell myself the truth. I would tell you the truth. The truth we did not know would not scare us; rather, it would bind us to our common plight - knowing that we don't know and can not know God; but we can know and do know that each breath is taken on faith alone as surely our first breath was taken in earnest. LIfe itself is the well-spring of faith - and to live, to value my own next breath, I must cherish yours, too.

Joseph Campbell's "Thou Art That" is especially significant for mending the tattered and torn social fabric that enshrouded my spirit. As I tried to emerge, pulling this thread or that, my non-conformance seemed only to entangle me further. The premise of Spiritual Equilibrium could not have been expressed without the influence of Campbell, whose work and legacy is far greater than is generally acknowledged. He was a teacher only, not a preacher. He found the common motifs in our great religions and exposed the impact and value of mythology as serving four functions:

• Reconciling consciousness to the preconditions of its own existance - that is, of alligning waking consciousness to the mysterium tremendum of this universe, as it is.
• Presenting a consistent image of the order of the cosmos.
• Reinforcing the moral order by shaping the person to the demands of a specific geographically and historically conditioned social group.
• Carrying the individual through the various stages and crises of life - that is, to help persons grasp the unfolding of life with integrity. This wholeness means that individuals will experience signifcant events, from birth through midlife to death, as in accord with first, themselves, and secondly, with their culture, as well as, thirdly, the universe, and, lastly, with that mysteriim tremendum beyond themselves and all things.

If nothing else, I am particularly perceptive of inconsistancies and am constantly alert to irregularities contrary to the representations made directly or indirectly by others, about what I should observe. A lifetime of passionate research by Campbell and his willingness to document his research in a manner easily understood revealed the source of many such irregularities and put my spirit at ease when my mind left me with only isolating observation.

From the blog fo pfh, aka Dr. Paul Harrison

It [capitalism] seems to be a vast conspiracy to reduce us to consumer wage-slaves and despoil our environment for the benefit of, say, some power hungry cartel of shadowy capitalist overlords. If we could just expose this cartel, denounce it, destroy it, surely the world would be a better place. Except there isn't such a thing, there is just us, a bunch of individuals making individual choices.