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love
December 2007 
What do you believe about love?
Posted on Dec 12th, 2007
by 
goodsoul
goodsoul
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for December 12, 2007:
O.E. lufu "love, affection, friendliness," from P.Gmc. *lubo (cf. O.Fris. liaf, Ger. lieb, Goth. liufs "dear, beloved;" not found elsewhere as a noun, except O.H.G. luba, Ger. Liebe), from PIE *leubh- "to care, desire, love" (cf. L. lubet, later libet "pleases;" Skt. lubhyati "desires;" O.C.S. l'ubu "dear, beloved;" http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=love&searchmode=none
It is not that there are so many different kinds of love, but that there are necessarily differences in how love might be expressed in one kind of relationship over another. I love my GTO, but I don't kiss it.
In human relationships I believe love implies a degree of trust and vulnerability mutually shared to whatever degree the love is mutual.
Unlike physical attraction, or seeking to attain satisfaction of physical desire i.e. socially acceptable "lust" - love might be thought of as that which preserves the shared values and aspiratons of people that love one another.
I believe that putting love at the center of a relationship is symptomatic of confused thinking.
Love should protect and promote the harmony of the relationship.
We must see love as the highest form of trust - trust that calms the heart and frees the spirit to be ourselves fully within a relationship without fear of recrimination.
I tell young people contemplating marriage to imagine marriage as the framework that contains their shared dreams and values. And that those contents are at the center of their marriage that their love protects. Love insures that no one may disregard or introduce or otherwise alter the shared dreams and values without the full knowledge and consent of the other. It is not that people get married and become immune to personal growth. Deception, failure to communicate and selfish obfuscation of intentions contrary to the shared values and aspirations of the relationship cause the most harm and ultimately, the most guilt.
An analogy may help demonstrate what love is not:
When love is thought to be at the center of a relationship, it is as though two people are planets revolving about their imaginary sun on fixed orbits, never growing closer nor drifting apart, light and dark sides showing one to the other along the ever changing course of the eliptical path they each must follow. Such relationships become rather easy to predict over time. And it becomes increasingly apparent that love and nothing more sustains the relationship. Some may stay the course, usually for quite obvious reasons. Others may say their love was extinguished. Or they may insist that one or both planets changed in size and their orbits were altered. For an analogy, it's not bad at representing the common reasons for falling out of orbit, err, I mean, falling out of love....
Surely, the analogy is ultimately no more valid then the idea that love binds two people, or is at the center of their relationship.
I suspect that if people, especially young people, spent more time grappling with the reality of shared values and aspirations, rather than imagining that love implies that such values and aspirations are shared, they would enjoy longer, more meaningful relationships.
Blezzings to all from the Most Comical Ambazzador Goodsoul
It is not that there are so many different kinds of love, but that there are necessarily differences in how love might be expressed in one kind of relationship over another. I love my GTO, but I don't kiss it.
In human relationships I believe love implies a degree of trust and vulnerability mutually shared to whatever degree the love is mutual.
Unlike physical attraction, or seeking to attain satisfaction of physical desire i.e. socially acceptable "lust" - love might be thought of as that which preserves the shared values and aspiratons of people that love one another.
I believe that putting love at the center of a relationship is symptomatic of confused thinking.
Love should protect and promote the harmony of the relationship.
We must see love as the highest form of trust - trust that calms the heart and frees the spirit to be ourselves fully within a relationship without fear of recrimination.
I tell young people contemplating marriage to imagine marriage as the framework that contains their shared dreams and values. And that those contents are at the center of their marriage that their love protects. Love insures that no one may disregard or introduce or otherwise alter the shared dreams and values without the full knowledge and consent of the other. It is not that people get married and become immune to personal growth. Deception, failure to communicate and selfish obfuscation of intentions contrary to the shared values and aspirations of the relationship cause the most harm and ultimately, the most guilt.
An analogy may help demonstrate what love is not:
When love is thought to be at the center of a relationship, it is as though two people are planets revolving about their imaginary sun on fixed orbits, never growing closer nor drifting apart, light and dark sides showing one to the other along the ever changing course of the eliptical path they each must follow. Such relationships become rather easy to predict over time. And it becomes increasingly apparent that love and nothing more sustains the relationship. Some may stay the course, usually for quite obvious reasons. Others may say their love was extinguished. Or they may insist that one or both planets changed in size and their orbits were altered. For an analogy, it's not bad at representing the common reasons for falling out of orbit, err, I mean, falling out of love....
Surely, the analogy is ultimately no more valid then the idea that love binds two people, or is at the center of their relationship.
I suspect that if people, especially young people, spent more time grappling with the reality of shared values and aspirations, rather than imagining that love implies that such values and aspirations are shared, they would enjoy longer, more meaningful relationships.
Blezzings to all from the Most Comical Ambazzador Goodsoul
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